He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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