My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
