I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
You were trust falling into bushes
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
