I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
