ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
