I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Use "feeling words"
Yay
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
