You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
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It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
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you are never too drunk for berry picking
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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