they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
