people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.