We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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