As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
