Plan B is the new Plan A
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
