Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
