yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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