Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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