Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize