Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
