I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
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I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
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I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize