I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
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