This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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