i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
