just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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