she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
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I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
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Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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