i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Randomize
