piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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