haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
