Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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