I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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