every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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