just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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