What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
