Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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