Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
