he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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