Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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