i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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