I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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