airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
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He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
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Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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