why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I think I sprained my soul last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize