My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize