I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
