Ambien. No doubt about it.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
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I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
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All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone