Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
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and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
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Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?