i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.