I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
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did i walk over a car last night?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
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He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.