Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
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