It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
