just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I need to calm my uterus...
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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