Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
