I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
