Is it normal to miss your booty call?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
