how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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