His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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