Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
