would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
