Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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