I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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