i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
