It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
