Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
