I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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