Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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