Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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