I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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