She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize