dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
