There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
